This started for me while watching a surly (and politically right-leaning) pitcher throw for the Red Sox last night, while my wife teetered between rooting for her team, and also sort-of hoping that they'll at least make it close, seeing as how her sports city is on the verge of becoming the most hated in the country (seriously: Patriots are 7-0, Red Sox are bashing the rest of the league, CELTICS are promising to be dominant...Boston College!!!...it's insane!).

So anyway, this suddenly occurred to me:

If this same surly pitcher were hired to be a pitchman (no pun intended) for a company...and if his dialogue came off as arrogant and brusque as he himself often does...then would that be a curt shilling? (I guess pun is intended here.)

My mind then wandered...

If you were to have a dollar bill that was intended for a cup of coffee...could it be said that you had in your possession a joe buck?

If so, then it could ostensibly occur that a surly pitcher might ask a television sports announcer for a dollar for coffee, in a brusque and arrogant way. In THAT scenario, you'd have Curt Schilling making a curt shilling to Joe Buck for a joe buck.

And THEN...my mind was gone. Are there other sports stars - or even celebrities, for that matter - whose names can also be real (albeit strange) terms?

Could a Polynesian hairdresser be a Tiki Barber?

Could we re-name those extra-long twist-ties we use to keep certain fruits bundled together "berry bonds" ?

(I decided to stay away from Dick Trickle jokes. Too easy.)

I am now wondering if this can be applied to Pop Culture celebrities. Any thoughts?

RvW

Could Scientologists out on a party boat be on a 'TOM CRUISE?"

I have no idea....but it's really fun to think about.

Post edited by: ksenese, at: 2007/10/26 20:51

If you wanted to borrow some cash from your friend for an extra-special dance in the VIP room of your favorite gentleman's club, could you ask him for a Hugh Grant?

At the moment that's all I've got.

My fear is that, with both the Tom Cruse and the Hugh Grant examples, we are forgetting that the first name has to be a word as well.

Today, the quarterback for the Miami Dolphins was named Clio Lemon. Now my thought is that his name could refer to an award-winning commercial that critics love, but doesn't actually succeed in convincing consumers to buy that product.

I think about these things WAY too much.

RvW

Wow Rob, you've really elevated the level of difficulty on this thing.

BTW, how did you feel about the World Series? Does a Mets fan share the Yankees' hatred of the Red Sox, or is it more that you like them in an "the enemy of my enemy" kind of way?

I'm pretty happy about the World Series, in that the Yankees didn't win, and secondarily, that the Red Sox did. (My wife is from New England, and so her family consists of all Red Sox fans, and she claims them as their #1 team as well.) I am a fan of the Red Sox - enough to call them my #2 team - but I am very concerned about the Sox. They are rapidly becoming the new Yankees, with overpaid players, the mercenary way they bash the other teams down, and their sudden horde of obnoxious and boorish fair-weather fans.

I support the Red Sox, but I completely understand when other fans start turning on them. (I live near Baltimore, and my wife and I go at least once per year to watch the Sox take on the O's. Amazingly, the stadium is packed with Sox fans (ex-pats, as well as tons of New Englanders who come down for the weekend), and Orioles fans are always stunned into a seething hate-filled silence as their home team gets drowned out by the visitors.

Go Mets in 2008!

RvW

I like the Red Sox because they are a good team. Best pitching rotation I've seen in a while (imagine if they get Santana?) and great players. They can handle the both the bat and the glove. Did i mention I'm a Yankee fan? T_T

Ok i think i get it and I've got one. A horny former drug addict who's turn over a new leaf, or Randy Newman. Or like if the first Pope was a valet by night he would be Peter Parker. That close?

Joel,

Welcome aboard! And let me tell you, Randy Newman is perhaps the best one of these to date! GOD I'm jealous that I didn't think of that one!

RvW

This is actually harder than i thought. A postman that stands up for himself against all odds would be a david letterman?

An Eastern European (accented) bridge player who was gung-ho to win a trick may say Ivana Trump (oh, that's lame) , or

if you were sending a package C.O.D. to an ocean dwelling eel, you may have to Bill Murray (moray, erf, equally lame), or

if you were warning a Christmas shrub to be careful crossing a rickety bridge you may say Holly Golightly, or

if you were going to mug a soccer mom's vehicle, and then curse when you failed, it'd be Rob Van Damme (he's a pro-wrestler), or

if you were being chased and attacked by an enraged monk-ish rooster, you might be Gregori(an) Peck(ed) (I had to force that one, but I really like it), or, finally,

if all the seamen stationed in France's capital needed a place to stay, they could visit Paris Hilton...well, that's just obvious and (in)appropriate.

Thank-you for the thread!