When it comes to music, most people fall into one of two categories. They are either among the group that loves the popular music of the day, or they are the sort of person who HATES it. Which group you’re in tells a lot about you. If, for example, you are a pop music fan – listens to top forty radio stations, pounds the internet to get tickets when the suddenly hot act rolls into town, etc. – then you are probably either a teenage girl, a parent of a teenage girl trying to connect with her, or a guy (teenager through retiree) who is trying to sleep with a teenage girl. If, however, you shun this sort of mass-marketed product, then you are probably the sort of person who logs onto geek pop culture fan sites to deride those in the former category. This makes you a person of distinction, but this title comes with a price.

Imagine a situation where everyone you know is invited to a killer party, but you were not. (Given that we are a site for pop culture geeks, I am betting that perhaps I am not the only one who can relate to this scenario). It’s a bad feeling, isn’t it? Now, imagine that this party is openly discussed around you, with no one caring whatsoever that you were excluded. Let’s also pretend that invitations were sent out two months prior to the party date, so people begin buzzing about it WAY in advance. Many of the invitees are so excited about this party that they decorate their homes on the outside so everyone can share in their joy. Marketers catch wind of it, and start advertising for all the cool things that people can buy to get themselves fully ready for the fun they’re bound to have. And as the date of the party grows nearer, everyone around you gets whipped up into a frenzy of euphoric anticipation, until the day comes when the party rocks the house while you can only watch it happen from outside the window.

It's been called a joke, assumed to be a sarcastic fulfillment of contractual obligations, and purportedly recorded while the artist was stoned. Whatever you call it, Lou Reed's Metal Machine Music is famous for the fact that almost no one can listen to it all the way through. What a great choice then for April Fools' Week! Stephen Kondracki was the unlucky recipient, and he abandoned his journalistic integrity in favor of stream-of-consciousness.

A word from the nominator Russell Davidson:

I picked Metal Machine Music because it's notorious, and very few people have actually listened to the whole thing through. Personally, I get about four minutes in before I have to shut it off. So here I am, in a position to get some poor sap to HAVE to play it in it's entirety...April Fools, for sure!  There's also an interesting story behind it: it's considered the most "avant-garde" (or just plain horrible) release EVER from a major artist. Remember, Lou Reed was quite popular when he put this out. Some call it the first "punk" album (1975) in that it played by its own rules, damn the consequences. It's also been said that Lou put it out to fulfill a record contract, and this completely un-commercial release was his way of giving it to the label. Hell, even Lou himself has claimed both things, and hey, maybe it IS both things....one thing it's not, however, is listenable. Good luck, Stephen!