When I received my assignment to review Superbabies: Baby Geniuses 2, my first thought was, “How am I going to avoid dying from humiliation when I bring this up to the counter at the video store?” Hope that the person behind me was renting something worse? But alas, such relief was not to be had. I looked under “Family.” No SBG2. I looked under “Comedy.” No dice. So I was forced to actually ask the guy behind the counter, much in the manner of one renting a particularly nasty porn, “Uh, do you have Superbabies: Baby Geniuses 2?” He looked it up, answered in the affirmative, and went to the very same “Family” section I had recently vacated. D’oh.

He returned emptyhanded and proceeded to search the seemingly endless wall of videos behind the counter while I turned red with embarrassment. But the DVD was found and as he hands it to me he said casually, “You know, this was the director’s last movie before he died in a car crash. It’s a shame, because he also directed some really good movies, like A Christmas Story.” With that in mind, I was tempted to go easy on this movie in memory of the late, great Bob Clark. (Who also directed Black Christmas, one of the most underrated horror movies of all time and a classic in my book. John Carpenter TOTALLY ripped off the opening sequence of Halloween from this film. But I digress.)

However, we’re talking about a 2004 Razzie nominee. (It lost to Catwoman.) A movie so wretched it has a score of 0% on Rotten Tomatoes.com. There is no sugarcoating this one. So, with a heavy heart, I present my thoughts on Superbabies: Baby Geniuses 2.